Long Time No Blog!

As I enter the end of my semester, I am excited to announce that I will be heading back to Canada soon.

I might need to fill you guys up with info about these past months.

Back from my vacation, I had so much fun being with my lovely girlfriend Diane. I hated to break her heart, but I can't help it. She cried, "why do you have to leave? You are here already!" My heart broke seeing her cry, hugging me, and saying those words. I looked at her eyes, and I told her, "don't cry. I promise, I'll come back." Since I came back to Florida, I have come up with a plan to make Diane happy. I have decided to continue my studies in Canada with her. She was surprised and glad that I decided to be with her. I know she needed me, and I needed her most.

February, to my shock, Diane bought me roses. I was thinking the same thing, but she beat me to it. I could not believe she would send me roses. I failed to have send her flowers, but I have something special for her in exchange. A new music video that we both composed and have finished myself to surprise her, and thank God, she liked it.


I have canceled a party on Valentines Day because I have something planned on that day. Even though Diane and I were far apart, we have manage to put up a date. It's amazing what can internet chat do these days. We both planned to eat dinner Valentines Day. It was stunningly beautiful how our plan was. We both agreed to cook pasta. We have tables set in front of our laptops, and we have our cams set to full screen. It looked like that we're having dinner in the same room, not quite. We added candles to spice up our dinner a little, and I set Diane's gift right next to me for her to see. Dinner went well, but it could have been better if we're both together. Yet everything was amazing.

We always have alot of good memories to share when Diane and I were together, but as the days gone by slowly, far from each other, Diane was slowly changing, which got me worrying. When I came back from Canada, she had kept her calm personality till her calmness could not catch up any longer. Lately, she's bothered with depression. Not even my words could calm her down. It left me thoughtless. I was not helping her at all. I almost lost my mind thinking, "am I still important to her?" and, "am I enough to make her happy, still?" I have kept my positive side to stay with me. I understand how Diane had felt. It's not enough for her seeing me and hearing me online nor her friends from other places. She wants friends, who is physically with her, that she can touch and talk with personally. Her depression was clouding her with doubts, and it's affecting me. Every time I'll try to cheer her up by saying, "I'm coming soon! I can't wait!" she'll be turning it down by saying, "I don't believe it." and that almost have made me lose hope, till she realized that she was happy being with just me by her side.

Whenever she gets bored, she gets depress, then I become nothing. This situation have set me to believe that I must go to her ASAP. I have nothing on mind but her. All I care is making Diane happy. I am counting on the fact that If I get there soon she wont be depress anymore. She will be at ease like we have before. We both are going through tough times, but going through all this will result to a good beginning. I love her so much. I love seeing her smile and knowing that she loves me that is why I'll do anything to make her happy. I can't wait to be with her soon.

At Last!

I had waited for so long to find a way to reach Diane, and I had found a way and that is to borrow money from my mom. I have no job to pay for the money, yet I need to find a way, and I will find a way to pay for it. I desperately want to see my love and that is the only way I can see her. I had bought the ticket to visit her for Christmas and New Year. She was happy to know that I'm visiting. She knows about me borrowing the money, now, she's worrying about, me, not be able to pay for it. I had told her that she need not to worry about my problem because all I want her to worry about is us two having fun when I get to Canada. I don't want her to be sad or worrying about what I borrowed, but I want her and I to have fun because that is my goal, is to be with her. I love her so much. I'll find a way to make her happy. And I will find a way to earn and pay for what I borrowed, and I spend it with a good cost. Thank God I had given a way to be with my love, my princess, Diane. I'm excited. I can't wait to have fun with her like we always do. I thank God again for everything. Thank you so much!

Happy Anniversary

For a short while that Diane and I were together, It felt that years had gone by. Today, we are in our first year of our relationship. I never had thought that I would be able to finish what I had started. I had composed a song; it was just the chorus. And last month, when she had a fit of me going out, I had the emotions and memories to contemplate to create my song, she had a fit because she misses me and I miss her too, so I had finally done editing the video and fix my song just a couple of days ago, and here it is to show the world how much I love Diane so much. These is my first song ever written and sang just for her. I love you my princess hope you like it! -the audience as well-

I miss you so much!


Lyrics:

First Verse:
I wake up in the morning
All I think is you
I'm getting ready to leave now
Cuz, I can't wait to see you
You are always up to something
Having planned for us to do

Refrain:
Why did you have to leave, girl
I had a hard time letting go
When everything was just beginning
I desperately want you back here with me

Chorus:
Cuz, I miss your hugs and kisses
I miss your smile and laughter
I miss everything about you
You know why?
Cuz, I can't leave without you

Second Verse:
I'm hanging out with our friends
All I think is you
I'm searching you in the crowd, girl
Cuz, It's not the same without you
We're always are up to something
Having fun just us two

Repeat refrain continue to chorus then bridge.

Bridge:
I lived my life gone through
Through what we had done everyday
I want it
I need it
Especially when you are in it

Repeat refrain continue to chorus then end fade.

Back to School

School is back! I was so excited to go back to school expecting to see Diane. Sadly, I was wrong. We always see each other no matter how short the time and no matter how far our building is. We both manage our time just to eat lunch in a nice part of the school called "Lakes Virginia." It's a place that has two huge trees that provides shade from the sun and nice cool breeze that blows off heat where there is a fountain in the middle of the lake and across the lake is a golf course. It is a nice place to hangout. When I was walking pass that place going to the cafeteria to grab something to eat, I notice that it was so empty and felt so lonely. We hangout there so much all I can see was us both laughing, singing, talking, and reminiscing. Whoever gets out from class first waits at the lake. Even at night time classes, we both hangout at the lake look at the view and the stars and talk about some good times. It is just not the same without her. I eat with her always at lunch. Now, I eat alone. I miss her so much. I'm fixing to study next year in Canada and hoping every thing will fall in place.

Reminiscing.. GOOD and NOT SO GOOD.

I am jealous right now.. jealous of David because he is going back to school tomorrow.

Of all the things to be jealous about, right? When most people DREAD going back to school, I on the other hand, would want to be in school right now just to escape being in the house all the time. The story of my life for now is that a.) I WON'T be studying for this Fall semester; b.) I'll be starting in the Nursing program here on SEPTEMBER 2009 (yeah you heard me right.); and c.) I would have been done with my Associate's Degree in Nursing in Florida by MAY 2009.

Education-wise, I'm so screwed up with all the changes happening. And sadly, I blame my parents/mom/dad. Sorry to say but it's true. If not for all the moving, the protectiveness and the hard-headedness, I think I would actually turn out okay. Hahaha! If only they would accept some of my decisions, like having David as my boyfriend, for example, I wouldn't be angry and rebelling against them. Well, I think REBELLING is too harsh of a word, but that's what some people might call it.

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Ergghh.. I guess to keep matters light, I am going to REMINISCE some of my favorite SCHOOL memories I have with David.:)

1.) The first time David and I met was in the cafeteria. I met up with Brenna during one of my 20-minute breaks after QUICKLY picking food. Then Karen came, along with a guy named... David.:) He told me, "Hinay-hinay lang sa pagkain baka gusto mong mamigay!" (he noticed how I was rushing to eat!!). This was our first meeting.:D

2.) During our "secret relationship" phase (I don't know how else to call it lol!), I went to school during a Sunday to study, and he came there to stay with me.:)

3.) It was October 27, and Giezel had her induction. David and I quietly snook out for a couple of minutes and we danced outside like there wasn't a crowd of people watching a free movie nearby... all to the music from his cellphone.

4.) We were on our way home from Cape Coral, and I still didn't want to see him go. So we decided to stop by the school at night and just walk around hand in hand. We ended up goofing around in the parking lot... =D

5.) My sandal's strap broke and he tried fixing it.. with pieces of rubber band, staples, and a paperclip. Haha!

6.) Everytime we'd say goodbye after he'd bring me to my class' building and start walking away, I'd look back to see him walk away, only to see him doing the exact same thing... looking back at me.:D

7.) We had a picnic by the lake.. even during our short lunch breaks. I cooked spaghetti especially for him that day.. he loved it of course.

8.) It was during our "secret relationship" phase, and some of my friends and David we're hanging out by the lake. I was so depressed earlier to find out I am BARELY passing my class. I was really down and depressed. I went over to them, unable to share in their laughter. I told them about why I was so sad. David pulled me aside to somewhere more private, despite of everyone else being there, and talked to me and tried to comfort me, as I was already crying.

9.) Walking out of my classroom to find David reading a book while waiting for me is just so romantic.:)

10.) During one of my short 5-10 minute breaks, I randomly asked him where he was at the time. Turned out he was at a far end of the campus. I rushed to that area and surprised him and told him that I miss him already...:)





......... Honestly? Every moment I spend with David, wherever it may be, is so priceless to me. I feel all sorts of happy feelings. I TRULY AM BLESSED TO HAVE HIM. I love you bhe (B1).. *wink*

Love, bhe bhe (B2.)

Depressing and Lonely

Hi, my name is David, and I'm 24 years old. I'm turning a year older this coming 30th of August. I'm currently preparing my enrollment for 2nd year of college here in Florida. I'm taking a computer course as same as the course I took back when I was living in the Philippines and that course is Computer Programming. And currently, I miss my Diane so very much. The atmosphere around me had change a lot when she left for Canada. And life without her is depressing and lonely.

I had a hard time letting her go when she and her family were leaving the next day for Canada. She and I slept in the car right in front of their family's friend's house, where they slept for the night, for a few hours and woke an hour away from her departure. It felt that I can take the risk of seeing her go, so while she was walking slowly away from me, I stared at her, and the second I saw her right next to the door, my heart just stopped, and I realize that I wont be able to see her again. I kept that fear in me. I tried not to let it out, and it's hurting me so much that I can die from keeping it inside. I desperately called her, yet I did not hear from her. I waited and know that Diane will come out to see me again. An hour passed. I felt a relief in my chest, for she came out to see me again. I had quickly hold her in my arms and told her "you're in my arms once more, I will never ever let you go again." But we had no choice but to let go of our arms and not let go of our special bond. We both promised that we'll be together always no matter what because we are perfectly destined for each other. And that final morning of us seeing and feeling each others arms, leaving us with one final kiss goodbye, she had let me go first, for she want to see me leave instead of me seeing her leave me. At that point, she felt what I had felt when I saw her right next to that door. My chest was so heavy when I left her. All I remember of her is that she's standing outside staring at me leaving her behind with a flying kiss of goodbye.

Now that she's gone, I have to face my daily life and accept that my love is no longer here with me. I have to wake up, sit steal, and remind myself that I don't need to pick Diane up at her house and go out like we always did when she was here. Thinking of something to do is hard for me, for I am use to go out and have fun with Diane daily. Me, being at home felt empty. I am use to hangout with Diane here at home cuddling after a good fun out while watching a movie. Friends had invited me to go out with them to Universal Orlando, which Diane and I went before she left for Canada, it was unlike when she was here. Friends can be fun too, yet when Diane and I are together there will always be something special is happening. Even though I have friends to comfort me, I still feel alone without Diane. I can't sleep knowing that she's far from me. The only thing that can calm me is to hear her voice, know that she's alright, and knowing and encouraging ourselves that we will see each other again. And we promised that as well.

Being at home, being bored, and remembering everything about our happy times together can be depressing and lonely, yet no matter how far the distance between us we're both still here to comfort each other for the sake of our perfect relationship. Our challenge is just starting. We both know we can do this. I love you so much Diane. And I miss you always every minute of the day.

August 10, 2008 -- The First Post.

Okay I'm gonna start this..

Hi, my name is Diane, 20 years old (I'm not used to that, I just had my birthday a couple of days ago..). I am an aspiring Nursing student -- started it in Florida but, well we moved here to Canada so now i don't know what's gonna happen.

I so happen to be in love with a certain David, a fun-loving, very sweet guy. He's currently in Florida but is planning to move here to Canada to study, which is his code for wanting to be with me hehe. I can't complain. I'm actually happy about that.. VERY. We are very serious about our relationship and once we've dealt with our problems (not relationship problems though.. we adore each other very much, thank you..), and finished school/found a stable job, we plan to settle down.

Humm, right now David is sleeping.. well with the time difference (2 hour difference boo!), I'm not blaming him - it's already past 3 in the morning there! But tonight is different from any other night. He's currently in Orlando (NOT where he lives..) with a couple of our friends, spending the last remaining days of their summer vacation having fun at Universal Studios.

At first I wasn't too thrilled about him going, I've been gone a total of 3 weeks and I still long for him A LOT. I still haven't gotten used to not seeing him daily anymore. But anyways, so yeah I wasn't all that excited. I was even asking him if he could not go. He would gladly do it for me but it didn't feel right. I HAD to fix my feelings and FAST! I don't want him wasting away stuck at home.

So I had a talk with one of my good friends. I explained to him the situation and asked his opinion if he'd feel the same way if he we're in my position. This is what he said...

Good Friend: It's normal to feel jealous, of course you want to be with the person you love all the time.
Diane: So what I'm feeling is perfectly fine? (A bit confused.)
Good Friend: But if you're thinking bad things about him, like thinking that he'd be going on a romantic rendezvous with someone, well that's WRONG. You should learn to trust him..
Diane: *sudden realization.. I do trust him..*

I realized that I have to trust him, he's proved himself worthy numerous times already. So, with an open mind and heart, I told him that it was okay with me, no hard feelings, no tampos. He didn't believe me at first, but he did in the end.:) That's why he is there now, having fun with our friends in Universal - he still texts me every so often which is a huge pick-me-upper. We even got the chance to talk on the phone tonight.. for an hour.:)

What's gratifying is what he said to me the other night. He said, "You are perfect for me, I can't ask for anything else. I love you so much." Now who would fall for something like that?:D